


Frozen

by Sasha713



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s07e22 Lost City (2), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-02
Updated: 2011-11-02
Packaged: 2017-10-25 15:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasha713/pseuds/Sasha713
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was just as frozen...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frozen

She hadn’t left the base in 5 days.

She couldn’t even think about going home, although, being here changed nothing. She fought furiously to forget that expression on his face. The ice had swelled up around him, and that expression had cut through her.

He hadn’t truly recognised any of them.

Lost with the ancient knowledge that had taken over his mind. She had been a mere stranger to him at the end, and that realisation haunted her.

She had tried to go home, making it barely to the second elevator before she had felt a sudden panic inside her chest, forcing her to turn back and go back to her lab despite the odd looks the SF’s had given her.

She had felt an ache in her chest at the thought of not trying to do _more_ for Jack.

Leaving him frozen, on the verge of death had left her cold.

So here she stayed, seemingly focused on her most recent project, keeping her eyes firmly down.

 _‘Sam, I don’t know what’s going on with you. Just call me.’_

Pete’s words had made guilt seize her, and that had made her even more determined to avoid him and the rest of the world that lay beyond the SGC.

“Sam?” She glanced up, finding Daniel leaning in her doorway, hands casually tucked into his pockets.

Damn. She had meant to lock the door.

“Anything new?” she asked, hoping he had something new to tell her about the Ancient outpost. If there had been any decision about who would get control of the weapon that lay dormant there.

Not that it mattered.

Jack was there, frozen and all these stiff idiots could think about was who got the rights to the damn place.

She turned her attention back to the device that lay gutted on her desk, wires and parts scattered around the main frame.

“No. They are still arguing. No one is giving an inch.” Daniel replied, stepping into the room, placing his hands on the side of the desk, his eyes on her.

She huffed out her exasperation, glaring down at the innocent device.

“How are you doing?” he asked calmly.

Sam placed the screw driver she’d had clutched down on the counter, clutching the edge.

“I’m fine.” She lied.

Daniel said nothing and she glanced up, catching the look on his face, the compassion in his eyes clear.

He had witnessed her fear for Jack. Had watched as she had gazed achingly through the ice at his frozen face, her hand reaching up to touch the cold barrier, feeling that her heart was breaking with the fact that she had no idea how to help him. No last minute solution.

“I really want to get back to work Daniel.”

“Maybe you should…leave the base for a while.” He suggested, his whole body stilling. She froze with his words. Jack wasn’t here anymore. He had been the one that had kept her balanced. That had kept her from staying on base under a pile of paperwork and gadgets.

She looked up at him, catching his eyes, seeing the concern there, but the wariness as well.

“I can’t.” she said simply, unable to think of anything else to say. He eyed her for a moment, before he bowed his head.

“Sam…I know this isn’t easy.”

“Daniel, he’s frozen down there.”

“I know.”

“I just…I feel like by going home…I’m not doing enough.” She admitted, glancing back down at her desk, covered in parts.

He followed her gaze.

“And by being here?”

She didn’t respond, knowing that by being here she wasn’t truly doing anything helpful for the Colonel either. The only difference was that at least while she was on base, she could pretend that she wasn’t avoiding Pete’s calls, but was just too busy to call him back.

Another lie.

“I just can’t go home.”

“Is this about Pete?” he asked, broaching the subject that he had avoided since she had begun seeing the Detective.

She dipped her head down, unable to really answer that question, confusion warring within her. It wasn’t directly about Pete, no, but…some part of her rebelled that thought. Rebelled going home to Pete when Jack was frozen down in that Ancient Outpost.

He deserved more from her. He was the hero. He was the one who did what was necessary. He had always seen himself as the dispensable one.

 _It couldn’t have gone down any other way._

Those words haunted her now. She had never noticed before how he thought himself less than her or Daniel. Even Teal’c. Daniel was the linguist. The people person. She was the _smart_ one. The one who had the answers. Teal’c was the muscle and the alien with strong ties to allies they could utilise. But Jack.

He was just the leader.

At least that was what she could imagine he thought.

But it wasn’t true. He was so much more. He was so much better than he thought himself. The one that acted as the torn and frayed duct tape that held them all in place. And now he was frozen, after yet another selfless act for his planet. An act that would kill him if they couldn’t find the help he needed.

And she felt like she had failed him, because she was supposed to be the smart one after all. The one who would get any of them out of trouble once they were knee deep in it.

But she had nothing.

And going home now would just seem like she was failing him all over again.

How could she have faith in herself when after this, his faith in her would be rocked.

If he survived.

“Sam?”

“He…thought himself dispensable.” She said softly, looking up, catching Daniel’s worried gaze.

He understood what she meant without real explanation, his eyes taking in that knowing light. She could see why he had been able to ascend when the rest of them would be unable to reach that level of spirituality.

“That’s who he is Sam. Even if he was told a million times that he’s worthwhile, he would never truly believe it. He’s got too much self-reproach.”

“And because of that, he gives up everything he wants.” She said, thinking how easy it seemed for him to give her up when it came down to the wire. He would never chase her down. Would never ask her to give up a damn thing, because when it came down to it, he thought that she deserved more of a life than what he would ever give her.

“Only if what he wants is better off…or _happy_.” Daniel responded and she caught his eyes again.

Jack thought she was happy.

Daniel’s meaning cut through her and she felt suddenly uncertain.

Was it her fault? Was her relationship with Pete the thing that was pushing Jack away from her? Sure, he was self-deprecating, but had her relationship with Pete told him more than she ever had?

God, he’d been frozen and almost killed and he would have died with some haunted knowledge that she didn’t feel what she had before. That she was happier in her relationship than she ever had been in his presence.

Because she’d hummed in an elevator.

“I think…I think I will go home.” She said softly, and Daniel nodded once before standing upright. She had to talk to Pete. Before it was too late.

Maybe she could start to be Jack’s duct tape when this was all over and he came back to them…


End file.
